Originally published in Pulse 2022-2023, Lamar University’s literary magazine.
Date Unknown, 1st Day of Record
I don’t know where I am. I don’t know how I got here. All I know is that these… things… are not human.
The last thing I remember was walking down the street after my car broke down. My phone stopped working and nobody had driven by for an hour. I decided to take my chances and walk, hoping to find a gas station or maybe somebody’s home.
I was in the middle of nowhere, but I was trying to be optimistic.
The next thing I know, there’s this bright light, I can’t even describe the color. It surrounded me. It wasn’t a spotlight like I’ve seen in the movies. It was just all around me, like darkness when you turn off a light.
It didn’t hurt, but it was a little uncomfortable. I didn’t levitate off the ground. I just went blank. The next thing I know, I wake up in this room I’m in right now.
These beings must have done their homework. They’ve recreated a typical Earth studio apartment. Except all the walls are made of glass. At least I think it looks like glass. It could be anything really. I don’t know if they even have sand here.
I don’t know what this planet looks like. I’ve never seen beyond this room. They’ve put me in some kind of zoo. The beings who live here come and watch me, similar to what I would do at the zoo back home.
I don’t even have words to describe what they look like. They have no similarities to humans at all. They don’t walk on two legs or have eyes like mine, or a nose and mouth. They don’t even look like any animals on Earth. They don’t look like Superman or E.T. They don’t have giant green heads with huge black eyes.
It’s weird to look at something and not even be able to comprehend it.
At least they’ve given me this journal and pen. I think I’d go insane if I had no way to get my thoughts out. It’s nighttime now. Well, they’ve simulated nighttime in my glass house.
I should try to get some sleep. Maybe this all just a bad dream.
Date Unknown, 2nd Day of Record
I woke up this morning and made eye contact with one of the beings who came to see me. To be honest, I’m not sure it was their eyes I was looking at. It was unnerving to be so close to one of them, with only a see-through wall separating us.
Don’t they have rules about getting too close to the glass? At least they didn’t knock on it.
The zookeepers gave me breakfast. It tasted like nothing. It looked like chicken but didn’t feel or taste like it. I’m assuming it has all the nutritional value a human like me needs. Luckily, they gave me a water tank, so I’ll never go thirsty.
A lot of the beings came to see me today. I never had a moment of solitude.
I could tell that they were communicating with each other by their movements. They don’t seem to have mouths, and I can’t hear what they sound like through the walls.
I bet they’re saying stuff like, “Look at this thing called a human. It’s from a planet called Earth in a galaxy they refer to as Milky Way. They are primitive, ugly, and stupid. It was easily captured.”
I hate these things. I hope they can see it in my eyes.
Date Unknown, 5th Day of Record
I started exercising today. Pushups, sit-ups, jumping jacks. Simple things just to keep my body moving. They don’t let me out of my cage to stretch my legs and roam. I have to do what I can.
I’m sure it was an interesting show for these aliens to witness. I attracted a big group of them when I started. They just stood there and watched.
Do they even realize that I was brought here against my will? I wonder how much it costs them to come and see me? Do they have the concept of currency like we do back home?
Everyone who has claimed to be abducted never mentioned this. They all talk about being probed and poked. Experimented on and then dumped back on Earth. I haven’t experienced any of that. The aliens that did the probing, I wonder if they’re the same aliens that abducted me.
Were all the other abductions, if they were real, just a way for the aliens to learn about humans? So that way when they abducted me, they would know everything about my biology. They know exactly how much water I need to drink every day, and how much food I need to eat. They know I breathe oxygen and release cardon dioxide. They know I need the same gravity as Earth, so I don’t float away.
Just how long have they been watching us?
Date Unknown, 7th Day of Record
I wonder how everyone back home is reacting to me going missing. They’ve probably gone through my phone records, my social media, interviewed everyone who I know. I’ll end up being one of those cases of a missing person that is never found.
Maybe this has happened to other people. Unexplained plane disappearances, people going to the store and are never seen again. Is all this the work of these aliens?
Date Unknown, 9th Day of Record
Nothing new to write about today. It was the same as every other day. I want to go home.
Date Unknown, 13th Day of Record
I miss home. I miss my family, my friends, music, and movies.
I miss grass.
I cried today. In front of all the beings that were here. It was so embarrassing. They probably didn’t even know what I was doing. These things don’t show any emotion, at least not emotion that I can comprehend.
After I cried, I screamed. A few of them seemed to back away from the cage. Good. Let them be afraid of me. Maybe then they’ll stop coming by.
Or maybe they’re just like us. Maybe they’re attracted to things that scare them too. Or is that just human nature? To seek out experiences that raise our heartrate and make our palms sweat.
A part of me thinks that I want to put on a show for them. Instead of laying in my bed all day. Show them that humans are not stupid boring creatures that they can just take and do with as they please.
Date Unknown, 17th Day of Record
Today was… weird.
I continued with my show. I screamed, punched, and kicked the walls of my cage. I danced a little bit. The aliens seemed to be confused by my antics.
At one point there was a group of aliens who seemed to be a family. There were two big ones and two little ones. In my mind that meant they were a family. Two parents and two children.
I assume that the little ones were children. Unless on this planet, they age backwards. Maybe they’re born big and shrink with age.
One of the little ones got close to my cage. If it had hands, it probably would have reached out and touched the wall. That’s what I did. I put my hand against the glass and stared at it. I was picturing myself in a movie. This is the scene where we both realize that maybe we’re not so different after all.
But we are different. These things don’t seem to have emotions or feelings like me. I wonder if they feel things like love or hate. What makes them happy? Do they get jealous?
Do they ever feel hopeless?
I wondered for the first time today if I’m the only human here. What if there are others who are in their own cages. What if the aliens want to breed us, like people do with horses back on Earth?
What kind of a zoo is this? Am I here to just be an attraction?
I can picture a billboard with the words “GENUINE HUMAN BEING FROM EARTH. GET YOUR TICKETS NOW.”
Date Unknown, 26th Day of Record
I haven’t written anything in a while. Honestly there hasn’t been much to say. Nothing changes. The days are beginning to run together. It seems like more aliens are coming to see me lately.
I guess they have word of mouth on this rock too.
I wish I could leave my cage. I just want to walk around. I started to wear out the carpet in my cage from pacing. They could at least give me something to do. If they want me to act as natural as possible, they need to let me do human things.
Date Unknown, 36th Day of Record
Something happened yesterday.
Before any of the aliens came to see me, I found myself becoming tired. That’s when I began to smell something. I can’t place the scent and I can’t exactly describe it. It wasn’t something that I had ever smelled before.
The next thing I know, I’m waking up. I was lying on a table covered with a sheet. There were three aliens in the room. One was sticking something into my arm. I could feel the injection as it entered my body.
The aliens were putting something inside me. Naturally I began to freak out. I started moving. I tried to sit up but one of the aliens put their “hand” on me and lowered my body back down. They were so gentle about it. It was almost as if they didn’t want to hurt me.
I started speaking to them. I said, “Where am I? What are you doing to me?”
They stared back like they couldn’t understand me. They abducted me and didn’t even bother to learn my language. I thought that was rude. And unprofessional.
One of them looked like they were communicating with me, but I didn’t hear any noises.
“Please let me go home!” I begged them. Not that they could understand me. I began to cry, of course.
One of the aliens pressed something and music started playing. Music I actually recognized! It was Dancing Queen.
For a moment I was shocked. It had been so long since I heard English. Since I heard anything from Earth. I froze and then I began to cry harder. I think I confused the aliens. They turned to look at each other.
I couldn’t explain my behavior to them even if we spoke the same language. I’ve never cried to ABBA before. I think it’s just been so long since I experienced some kind of comfort from home.
In a weird way, I think the aliens were trying to comfort me.
Date Unknown, 54th Day of Record
Today was actually kind of… fun?
They didn’t let me out of my cage, but they let some of the aliens in. They would hand me things. It looked like the food they had been feeding me.
At first, I just stared at them when they would hold out a piece to me. When I finally grabbed one, I could actually feel the excitement that went through the room of extraterrestrials. The one in front of me even did something like that looked like bouncing.
It reminded me of when I would feed the animals in the zoos back home as a kid. I would do the same thing.
So, I decided to eat. I placed it in my mouth and chewed. That seemed to satisfy the one in front of me. The next one that came did the same thing. So, I ate the food again. And again.
Some of them were even brave enough to reach out and touch me. They would pat my head or shoulder. It felt awkward to me. Eventually I just started holding out my hand and allowed them to grab it.
I wish I could describe the texture of their skin. They were all kind of cold, but not like ice.
At one point I couldn’t eat anymore, or I would throw it all back up. I stopped grabbing the food. Some of them understood and settled for the weird handshake instead. Others tried to force the food into my hand or mouth. I didn’t appreciate that.
When I swatted the food away from one of them, they backed up and looked almost scared. I felt bad, I wasn’t trying to hurt them.
Date Unknown, ?? Day of Record
I have no idea how long I’ve been here. I stopped counting the days. Every day is the same anyway, so what’s the point.
I don’t get as many visitors as I used to. I guess the novelty of me has worn off.
Oh, they gave me a globe. A fairly realistic one (they have Russia and Alaska touching and I think there’s a few islands missing off the coast of Asia). It was nice of them. Sometimes when I forget what home looks like, I look at the globe. I try to find where my house is.
I wonder what I’ve missed. I have to admit, it’s nice not having to hear the news every day. I don’t have to worry about paying bills here.
But I still miss home. I miss the unpredictable weather. I miss the smells and the tastes. I miss the old man who hangs out at the bus stop every day and asks me if I’m prepared for the end of the world.
I miss my neighbor’s dog, who barks every night and keeps me awake. I miss the woman who sells pastries out of her truck, that I stop at every Friday.
I miss Earth. I miss being a human being. Somedays I forget that’s what I am. Every day I feel less and less like a person and more like a… thing. The aliens aren’t cruel or mean. But they’re not my family or friends.
I’m afraid that if I go home now, I won’t recognize anything, and no one will recognize me.
Still, I want to go home.
Gabby Gaspard 