We Were Girls

We were girls. 

We had slumber parties where we would stay up too late, gossiping. We played with Barbies. We giggled about the boys we had crushes on. We passed notes in class, trying to figure out who we would marry and where we would live.

We were girls when we played at parks, swinging usually. Because the monkey bars belonged to the boys. We got frozen yogurt and topped it with everything that had sugar. We were girls when we first got told, “boys will be boys.” and “if he’s mean to you, it means he likes you.”

We were girls when we first tried makeup. We learned how to do our hair. We danced on top of beds, singing songs that our parents didn’t understand. We would make videos and swear we’d be the next YouTube stars.

We were girls when we cried for the first time, because of something that someone said. When that familiar feeling of not being good enough first entered our thoughts, we were only girls.

We were girls when we went to the mall. We would walk into every store, and not buy anything. We were girls when we first went to the back of Spencer’s and saw things we couldn’t even begin to understand.

We were girls when a boy first asked us to go to a dance. Sometimes nobody asked us except for our friends. We were girls when we had our first kiss. For some of us it was behind the bleachers and for others it was inside an H&M.

We were girls when we first explored the internet.  This is where we learned how to dress. This is where we created profiles that let others be our friends. We could video chat with strangers. This is where old men would ask us what our name, age, and location is. Luckily, we always lied. But not every girl knows to do this.

We were girls when we fell in love for the first time. Then our first heartbreak had to come and ruin it. This is when we realized, boys grow up to be men.

We were girls when the dress code told us we had to wear sleeves. Because boys get distracted so easily. Our shorts always must reach past our knees. If they don’t, then you’re asking for it for being such a tease.

We were girls when our male math teacher stood in front of the class and said,

“Now ladies listen. You have to learn how to cook if you want to find a husband.”

I raised my hand, “But what if I find a husband who can cook instead?”

“Good luck with that. Now let’s start learning slope intercept.”

We were girls when the school had an assembly to tell us that sending nudes is child pornography, so if you’re asked to do it, don’t. Nobody told the boys not to ask. Nobody told the boys not to show their friends.

We were girls when we learned that our bodies would always belong to someone else. We learned to hate ourselves because of this. We started counting calories and grew fearful of not being thin. This is when we realized that our breasts need to be big, but not too big, but also not too small.

We were girls, the first time we ever said yes. Sometimes, we just didn’t say no. To some people, that’s as good as yes.

We were girls the first time that we lost a friend. Sometimes they’re forever, and sometimes they’re just for right now. This was a lesson that could only be learned the hard way.

We were girls when we were told to grow up and be assertive and independent. But only until you meet The One, then you need to be passive and obedient.

We were girls when we saw our mothers as more than just who she is. She used to be a girl too. Did she have to deal with all of this?

We were girls when we first dreamed. We wanted to be the president or a pilot. Turns out those were just dreams. You can be the first lady or a flight attendant instead.

We were just girls.

Now we are women.

We are women who find out that we don’t make as much as men. We are told that we’re being dramatic because, “Women are equal! We can vote! We can work! We can stand alongside the men!” But don’t stand too close, you have to watch out for his hands.

We are women when we say we want equal rights.

“Equal rights, equal fights.” Isn’t it funny how the first thing they think of, is that they want to hit us as hard as they can?

We are women who fall in love and get married to our perfect man. We love him, and he loves us. He treats us as an equal. He listens to our problems and says that he understands. But he won’t truly ever understand.

We raise our daughters and hope that by the time they reach our age, the world is different to girls.